My friend
First Plot
-Hello, it's me with my imaginary friend again.
.....
-Oh, yeah, How do you do? We've met before, my friend is very fond of you.
.....
-Me too, but I like your voice over the phone better.
.....
-Maybe it's because I feel more comfortable on the phone.
.....
-Really? that's wonderful. this way we can talk to you all day!
.....
-well, lots of things. We've got lots to tell you.
.....
-I'll give you examples if you want, like the day we went shopping and saw that man jumping off the building!
.....
-No, of course not. We both hate to see dead bodies. You know, I've told you before, my dad's body was the last corpse I'd ever dare to get close to.
.....
-Happy stories? Let me see, oh I know you'll love this one! Remember the guy I met at the library?! He is coming to visit us tomorrow! Just on time!
-Hello, it's me with my imaginary friend again.
.....
-Oh, yeah, How do you do? We've met before, my friend is very fond of you.
.....
-Me too, but I like your voice over the phone better.
.....
-Maybe it's because I feel more comfortable on the phone.
.....
-Really? that's wonderful. this way we can talk to you all day!
.....
-well, lots of things. We've got lots to tell you.
.....
-I'll give you examples if you want, like the day we went shopping and saw that man jumping off the building!
.....
-No, of course not. We both hate to see dead bodies. You know, I've told you before, my dad's body was the last corpse I'd ever dare to get close to.
.....
-Happy stories? Let me see, oh I know you'll love this one! Remember the guy I met at the library?! He is coming to visit us tomorrow! Just on time!
4 comments:
great!
I enjoyed it much.
I had read it before (maybe not completed), but this time it was different and much better.
امروز دوباره اين مطلب رو خوندم و باز به نظرم خيلي خوب اومد. چيزي كه مي خواستم اضافه كنم اينه كه اين مكالمه يا در واقع جملاتي كه اين فرد به كار مي بره خيلي خاص و جالبند. توي اولين خوانش يه كم غريب به نظر ميان و فكر كنم اين به اين دليله كه فردي كه داره اونا رو ميگه خودش آدم عجيبيه. در واقع آدم معمولي نيست و اين از كسي كه يك دوست خيالي داره كاملا انتظار ميره. در واقع مي خواستم بگم جملات و مطالبي كه داره از زبانش بيان ميشه خوب انتخاب شده و مناسبش هست و شخصيتي رو كه ما انتظار داريم به خوبي تاييد مي كنه
سلام مریم جان
مرسی از لطف و توجه ای که به مطلب کردی. راستش این نمایش نامه تک نفره هنوز تموم نیست. 3 تا از پلات هاش رو نوشتم که به تدریج آپلودشون میکنم. جالب بود برام که بدونم تا چه حدی یه مخاطب می تونه با یه دیالوگی که اکثرا نیمی ازش حذف شده ارتباط برقرار کنه. میدونی برای خودم حکم طرح یه پازلی رو داره که در بهترین حالت مخاطب قادر به حلش باشه هرچند که برای این پازل جواب واحدی در نظر ندارم.
اين چيزي كه ميگي خيلي جالبه. البته در اين قطعه فكر كنم خواننده ميتونه صحبت هاي اون طرف رو حدس بزنه. چون چيز خيلي گيج كننده اي از اين طرف نمي بينيم كه ندونيم از شنيدن چه مطلبي ناشي شده. و فكر كنم خواننده بتونه با اون ارتباط لازم رو برقرار كنه. ولي كلا از اين بابت خيلي جالبه كه نصف اثر كم و بيش و شايد حتا بطور محدود در اختيار خواننده است و اين مي تونه خيلي جذاب باشه
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